Brexit means Brexit we’re told. It’s a divorce we’re told. We’ve sent the papers, but unlike in a divorce the other side doesn’t seem to have to sign. Then we confirmed what everyone knew already in a letter. Well I suppose being dumped in a 6 page letter is better that by email, text or a tweet. #it’smenotyou

Dear EU

             I know that you have been expecting this letter. It was not easy to write. Just to clarify the situation, I am divorcing you, but not because I want to, but because some, not all, and certainly not the majority of my family and friends have said that I should. I hope we can still be friends. I keep being told that we’ll be fine, that there’s a whole world out there to explore. I was hoping that we could discover it together.

Yours affectionately

The UK

PS My sibling in the north now wishes to move out, when only a short time ago they took the advice of their close friends and family, and agreed to stay. My sibling now wants me to give my permission to ask them again. I expect that you’ll be hearing from them if you haven’t already.